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“WHY CAN’T WE FORGIVE OTHERS (OURSELVES)?”

It is because we were not allowed to do it (be that way).

In other words, not only had we not been loved, but we had been hated, offended, and even punished for doing so (being that way).

So, of course, we had to force ourselves not to do that for pleasing adults at the time. Because, other than it, in fact, there was not the choice elsewhere to survive.

However, because of the experience of gaining the love we needed then by not doing that, we have unknowingly made it a natural (unconscious) thing for us not to do that, and in the same way, we unknowingly have come to demand that others do not do the same thing as a condition for giving forgiveness (love).

In this state of mind, even if we are told to “forgive people as they are” or “it is for your own good,” it becomes so much difficult to give forgiveness to others.

As a matter of fact, when we are not aware of the fact that “what one cannot do to oneself, one cannot do to others,” that “it’s possible to give permission for oneself to do that now, even though one has been forcing oneself,” and in addition to unconscious self that “one has not yet allowed oneself to do that” in the first place, it would be extremely difficult and painful to forgive others and it could also be something that drives down, for those who have tried to be a good person by making extraordinary efforts.

At such times, the inner child may angrily say, “How can I forgive others when I have not ever once been forgiven myself?”

Such a state of the mind, the only time we are able to forgive others is when we have enough space to be aware of our own condition with our manifest mind, which is less than 10% of our consciousness, and at other times, we will in the end, find ourselves feeling reflexive irritation or anger toward others, even if it is the same matter.

This is so-called a state of “I know it in my mind, but I can’t do it.”

In such cases, we tend to blame ourselves as if we are insufficient as an adult.

But what if we could be aware of this unconscious self by ourselves?

If we could recognize that we are still blaming ourselves, even though we had no other choice at that time.

Then our struggle with the unconscious self (ego) will finally come to an end, and we will be able to put the past behind us and sublimate it.

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Cuddle yourself as you are, including all that you have been able to do and all that you have not been able to do.

You are not doing it because you really need it, but because you had to make that choice in the past because you were not loved otherwise, and when you are able to become aware of the fact that you just came to assume it as if it were your own idea by it becomes unconscious, and moreover, that there is no other basis for that assumption, then you will finally be able to free yourself from that assumption and give forgiveness to yourself as you are.

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For instance, if we cannot clarify the original experience that is the source of our reaction, at least the reaction means that there is some unsublimated emotional experience that is entangled with the mind (ego), so in that case, we can just recognize the fact that it is there and deepen detachment ourselves from the mind (ego) by prayer, etc., and if that is also difficult, we can further start by recognition of only the fact that we cannot do that.

To not resist a fact is to unconditionally accept ourselves as we are now.

In this way, the more we are able to recognize ourselves as we are now, the kinder our world will truly become transformed and the more we will steadily leave from doership of the mind.

This is the beginning of actual spiritual awakening and one liberation toward complete liberation.

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Self-observation and self-inquiry, if done in complete innermost stillness, which is no influenced by the mind’s judgement, is the only actual opportunity to realize our own unconsciousness, even if it has not been done simultaneously in daily life.

In this way, learn one by one to be gentle with yourself, to forgive yourself, to love yourself unconditionally. (OM 🙏)

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